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    frog, the almighty frog.


    Male Number of posts : 663
    Location : uk/scotland
    Registration date : 2008-04-30

    frog, the almighty frog. Empty frog, the almighty frog.

    Post by myke on Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:07 pm

    Ah yes... FROG.. the almighty ruler of all the universe....
    frog, the almighty frog. Il9a9k
    FROG is the divine being that created our universe.
    :- A little green benign lifeform who presides over humanity, guiding them and loving them deeply.
    Huh? What are you talking about? Frogs are those little slimy things that live in ponds. They're amphibians.
    :- Amphibian? Yes, that's right. FROG is from the planet of Amphibia, a distant world many light years away, which resides in the centre of a supermassive black hole.
    No, I mean they can survive on the land and in the water.
    :- FROG can survive anywhere. He is Almighty.
    Right... huh!!
    :- FROG has been interpreted in many different forms of visual art. A common depiction of Him, which some believe to be His true form, is that of an old man - a muscular but kind-faced human male with a beard the length and breadth of his mighty torso.

    No, you're thinking of Sandy Claws.

    :- Many believe that FROG and Sandy Claws are one and the same.
    huh!! what!! Really?

    :- Some believe. I however know FROG's true appearance, I am one of the few to have witnessed the greatness that is FROG.

    So what was that like?

    :- A beautiful light flashed, then dark, then I felt as though I had fallen into a dream. A star appeared before me, just in the hallway it was, where I was checking the post. It was bright and the colour of a lime. It's soft green glow seeped through my skull and touched my brain, then I felt a tickling sensation. After that I knew all the secrets of the universe. FROG had revealed them to me.
    Whoa!! man... you're totally insane.

    :- Perhaps. But perhaps to truly know FROG is also to be insane.

    Hmmm!!! I think the asylum is looking for you..

    :- FROG does not reproduce. FROG is pure, and does not have such base urges and physical desire. He is also genderless, and doesn't have time for such petty matters as pleasure.

    Nothing like the frogs in my garden then, they're at it every Spring.

    :- How dare you speak of FROG in such a manner!

    Whoa, calm down man. What's wrong with you? I'm not trying to offend him or anything.

    :- How dare you speak of FROG in that manner too!

    What did I say that time?

    :- Genderless you say? Looks vaginal to me...You failed to use the capital H when using the third-person personal pronoun.

    Oh I see. And that's a problem because?

    :- FROG demands capital letters!

    Fine... I didn't mean to offend Him. That better?

    :- Much better, thank you.

    Shall I also say His name in all caps?

    :- No, that is not necessary.

    Then how come you do it?

    :- I do not mean to, I simply get so excited when I say FROG that I cannot control the volume of my voice. It is such a joyous word after all... FROG!


    :- You should try it.

    Maybe later.

    :- Oh, ok then.

    ...Maybe never....

    :- Jesus and Sophia are FROG's son and daugher by the way.

    Did you say Jesus?

    :- That's right, Jesus. Son of FROG.

    You mean Son of God? Have you been talking about God all this time?

    :- God? No, I 'm talking about FROG. The almighty FROG.

    No, I think you mean God. God is the guy you're describing there. I'm sure of it. The big beard, being Jesus' dad, who else could it be?

    :- But aren't gods those little slimy things that live in ponds?

    No, that's frogs, I told you that at the start.

    :- You really expect me to believe that I confused Our Maker with a small, pond-dwelling animal?

    I'm not lying to you, it's the truth!

    :- Oh, so you're saying I'm stupid?

    I'm not saying you're anything, I'm just pointing out that you're a guy who can't tell the difference between a huge, all-powerful bearded guy and a little green slimy guy.

    :-I've had enough of you. I think you should leave.

    o'well, goodbye then...

    :- Oh FROG this is terrible... what that man said, it all makes perfect sense. Damn him.
    How dare he destroy my blissful ignorance.
    I've wasted my entire life chasing quasars and performing bizarre rituals.
    That's right FROG, you heard me - bizarre! Why didn't you just tell me you weren't real to begin with?

    :- Oh I don't mean that FROG. I still love you. Yes, yes, I'm glad you love me too. I just have a lot of thinking to do...
    * walks back to the asylum, head down, thinking of.... FROG.*

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