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here we have a preview of the new " windows omg " kindly sent to me from bill mr. gates.
.
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Windows OMG Edition is currently in Alpha-Beta-Delta-RC 0.1 phase.
Windows OMG will come with MANY new features, most of which you will never find a use for, but your getting them anyway..so there, doink doink.
.
-n Paint will now come with a feature to load pictures of commonly-hated people / your boss / teacher, so you can deface them while you should be doing that spreadsheet. Speaking of spreadsheets.
.
Other things that will come with OMG include
- Oh My Media Player
- Oh My Solitaire
- Oh My Minesweeper
- Oh My Internet Exploder
- Oh My Spyware
.
Windows OMG will have so many features you're not supposed to know about.
The Blue screen of death has been updated to version 2.7, and is now capable of telling you exactly what you did wrong.
( ie.. that was a prawn website...dont go there again. ) :oops:
.
OMG will also feature several "Pirate Traps" which will lure n00bs and script k1dd13s into the police stations.
The most prominent of these Pirate Traps is a shortcut placed on the desktop called "Steal ur neighborz wi-fi" and "H4x0rz that m0nkey"
If you double click either of these icons, the police WILL show up at your house, regardless of if you live in Sweden or not.
( see torrentspy )
Windows OMG will also set your system clock backwards automatically by 1 hour, so you'll never be early for an appointment.
.
Windows OMG will require a
4096-bit Processor
666 gigabytes of RAM
1 terrabyte of hard-drive space. An überbyte is recommended
400,000 hamsters connected in series
And most importantly, it will require
"A lot of patience" ~~ "An insane amount of patience is recommended"
.
As can logically be expected, many different versions will be sold. However you will never know which one is right for you!
OMJ Oh My Jesus! : This version is designed for users who want minimal new features, but still want to experience the OMG system.
OMG Oh My God! : This version will feature almost all new features, but you will be missing things you really want, like the new BSoD
OMFG Premium wtfx : This version will have everything a home user could ever want. With the exception of eternal damnation.
OMG WTF BBQ : This version is aimed at businesses looking to collaborate with other companies, to trade souls, and monies amongst each other. It will have no mass-volume-licensing. You have to type each product key in by hand. (LOLzorz, even the IT guy is not safe from us.. >
)
OMGDS : Oh My Goddess! edition, designed for pagans.
OM : Oh My!, also known as Windows OMG: Atheists Edition.
Bill Gates Edition: Only someone who is in direct relationship to Satan / Santa will be able to use this version of Windows OMG
OMA Oh My Allah! : This version is designed for the Muslim community.
.
Theres a lot of other stuff, but you can't read about it because you failed WGA Windows Anti-Piracy thingy software check. Sorry, you have to purchase a licensed copy to be in the cool crowd! To legally purchase your Windows Software please...
Purchase a Microsoft Zune
Purchase every copy of Windows from 1.01 to Windows Vista Super-Home-Ultimate-Premium-for Businesses.
Press the Any key
Buy everything that has the word Microsoft on it
Congratulations, you are now genuine! well done
.
PIRACY
Piracy? Piracy isn't an issue anymore. We have gotten rid of our Activation technology altogether.
Why did we get rid of it? Because, in Microsoft-Land... *cough* I mean, in America, you don't buy Windows OMG, Windows OMG BUYS YOU! (Therefore we will shortly be installing our Activation technology on you.)
(Activation is still required in the UK, Japan, China, Italy, and minor outlying non-existent islands... however, it's more fool-proof than ever. If you don't activate within 5 minutes, it kills you.)
.
INSTALATION.....
To install Windows OMG is simpler than ever before........
- We highly recommend you grab a cup of Microsoft Coffee and enjoy the pretty blue screen as we wipe out all your data.
- You will then need to Register your copy with the mothership so that we know what pr0n you are looking at.
Also you will need to become genuine. You can do so by purchasing all past, current, and future Microsoft software.
.
MR. B. GATES thanks you very much.
( all your money are belong to us )
.
.
Windows OMG Edition is currently in Alpha-Beta-Delta-RC 0.1 phase.
Windows OMG will come with MANY new features, most of which you will never find a use for, but your getting them anyway..so there, doink doink.
.
-n Paint will now come with a feature to load pictures of commonly-hated people / your boss / teacher, so you can deface them while you should be doing that spreadsheet. Speaking of spreadsheets.
.
Other things that will come with OMG include
- Oh My Media Player
- Oh My Solitaire
- Oh My Minesweeper
- Oh My Internet Exploder
- Oh My Spyware
.
Windows OMG will have so many features you're not supposed to know about.
The Blue screen of death has been updated to version 2.7, and is now capable of telling you exactly what you did wrong.
( ie.. that was a prawn website...dont go there again. ) :oops:
.
OMG will also feature several "Pirate Traps" which will lure n00bs and script k1dd13s into the police stations.
The most prominent of these Pirate Traps is a shortcut placed on the desktop called "Steal ur neighborz wi-fi" and "H4x0rz that m0nkey"
If you double click either of these icons, the police WILL show up at your house, regardless of if you live in Sweden or not.
( see torrentspy )
Windows OMG will also set your system clock backwards automatically by 1 hour, so you'll never be early for an appointment.
.
Windows OMG will require a
4096-bit Processor
666 gigabytes of RAM
1 terrabyte of hard-drive space. An überbyte is recommended
400,000 hamsters connected in series
And most importantly, it will require
"A lot of patience" ~~ "An insane amount of patience is recommended"
.
As can logically be expected, many different versions will be sold. However you will never know which one is right for you!
OMJ Oh My Jesus! : This version is designed for users who want minimal new features, but still want to experience the OMG system.
OMG Oh My God! : This version will feature almost all new features, but you will be missing things you really want, like the new BSoD
OMFG Premium wtfx : This version will have everything a home user could ever want. With the exception of eternal damnation.
OMG WTF BBQ : This version is aimed at businesses looking to collaborate with other companies, to trade souls, and monies amongst each other. It will have no mass-volume-licensing. You have to type each product key in by hand. (LOLzorz, even the IT guy is not safe from us.. >
) OMGDS : Oh My Goddess! edition, designed for pagans.
OM : Oh My!, also known as Windows OMG: Atheists Edition.
Bill Gates Edition: Only someone who is in direct relationship to Satan / Santa will be able to use this version of Windows OMG
OMA Oh My Allah! : This version is designed for the Muslim community.
.
Theres a lot of other stuff, but you can't read about it because you failed WGA Windows Anti-Piracy thingy software check. Sorry, you have to purchase a licensed copy to be in the cool crowd! To legally purchase your Windows Software please...
Purchase a Microsoft Zune
Purchase every copy of Windows from 1.01 to Windows Vista Super-Home-Ultimate-Premium-for Businesses.
Press the Any key
Buy everything that has the word Microsoft on it
Congratulations, you are now genuine! well done
.
PIRACY
Piracy? Piracy isn't an issue anymore. We have gotten rid of our Activation technology altogether.
Why did we get rid of it? Because, in Microsoft-Land... *cough* I mean, in America, you don't buy Windows OMG, Windows OMG BUYS YOU! (Therefore we will shortly be installing our Activation technology on you.)
(Activation is still required in the UK, Japan, China, Italy, and minor outlying non-existent islands... however, it's more fool-proof than ever. If you don't activate within 5 minutes, it kills you.)
.
INSTALATION.....
To install Windows OMG is simpler than ever before........
- We highly recommend you grab a cup of Microsoft Coffee and enjoy the pretty blue screen as we wipe out all your data.
- You will then need to Register your copy with the mothership so that we know what pr0n you are looking at.
Also you will need to become genuine. You can do so by purchasing all past, current, and future Microsoft software.
.
MR. B. GATES thanks you very much.
( all your money are belong to us )
nice one mikey-d keep these beasts coming 
hmmmm.......... think like mike
![[xero]](https://2img.net/u/1714/25/20/38/avatars/11-79.jpg)
